Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
