My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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