1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
