Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
