Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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