dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just invented taco cereal.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
