is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
