i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Bring me that man meat
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
