it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
