I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
