so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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