Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
