I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
