I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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