No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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