Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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