last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
