We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
