Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
