I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
