Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Randomize
