Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
