friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm at about main and main street
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
