Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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