Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's always time for handjobs
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
