She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
