Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
