so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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