i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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