I just cut my nipple shaving
I cut my penus on the lid.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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