Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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