I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
