can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
