it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
