Tell her she can't have a vagina
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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