yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
bring money and cleavage
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
