Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
