On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
