i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
