have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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