you guys were way drunker than both of me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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