FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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