omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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