the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
