You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
