Who wears a wallet chain?!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
