she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
