Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
