I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
