Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
