I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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