Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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