i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
