Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
