We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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